Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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