Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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