If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
there is puke in my bra ... again
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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