He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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