I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
