Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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