And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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