i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Just high enough for therapy.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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