i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Randomize
