do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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