you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
