Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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