I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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