Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
