I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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