'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
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