Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
