Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
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