i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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