Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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