I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
