weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
