just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
