i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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