A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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