I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
MIDGETS
????
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
