whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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