I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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