Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
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