you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize