Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
