a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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