A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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