HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Randomize
