My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
They are going to name an STD after you.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
