He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
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