I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Randomize
