We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
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