it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
