That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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