just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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