Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
