Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
