i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
