so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
the liver wants what the liver wants
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Randomize
