Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
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