school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
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