all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
