I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
