I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
