we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Randomize
