I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
