Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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