He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
