You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
so let's talk penis.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
She told me I should be a condom model.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Randomize
