Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
