In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
