I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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