I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
