This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
