My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
