she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
