i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
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