you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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