So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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